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The Cost of Competition
An Expert Shares Her Thoughts on Winning and Losing
By Rae Pica
The subject of competition is one that provokes some pretty strong feelings in the United States. In fact, even hinting that competition might not be such a great thing can cause one to be labeled un-American.
The prevailing belief is that competition is good for everyone – that someone without a strong competitive nature is just a wimp. That being competitive is human nature and to be noncompetitive is to have been born without a necessary gene.
But is it human nature, or is it learned behavior? The research shows that, given a choice, most preschoolers prefer cooperative to competitive activities. This would seem to indicate that dog-eat-dog is not a natural inclination. And in a New York Times essay, Nicholas Kristof told a hilarious story about trying to teach the game of musical chairs to a group of 5-year-old Japanese children, who kept politely stepping out of the way so others could sit in their chairs. This would certainly seem to indicate "dog-eat-dog" is taught in some societies and not taught in others.
In America we play musical chairs in childcare centers, during play dates and at almost every preschooler's birthday party. The rules say that a chair is removed with every round – and one more child gets to sit against the wall and watch everybody else continue to have fun. The game is over when there remains one winner – and lots of losers.
In case you don't recall from your own childhood (or maybe you were always the one winner among many losers), being eliminated feels lousy, as does feeling like a loser. And those other kids you're playing with? For the duration of the game they're not your friends – they're what's standing in your way. Children only have to play this game once to know that if they're not going to be labeled losers, they have to do whatever it takes to win. And we've all seen what that means: punching, poking, kicking, scratching, screaming and shoving. It's no wonder the research shows that competition fosters antisocial behaviors.
