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Home › Articles › Bedwetting › Words That Heal

Words That Heal

Incontinence Solutions for Special Needs Kids

By Laurie L. Dove

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Talking about urinary incontinence can be difficult, particularly with special needs children who struggle for independence every day.

Although incontinence affects special needs children in a variety of ways, there are a few succinct rules to successfully discussing the issue, says Dr. Scott L. Barkin, Ph.D., licensed clinical psychologist at the Brooklyn School for Special Children in Brooklyn, N.Y.

"Keep it brief, keep it simple and don't push the child into a conversation he may not be ready for," Dr. Barkin says.

Instead, offer the child all the possible options of to whom they can speak when they are ready. This list can include one or both parents, the family pediatrician, another family member, close friend of the family or a trusted counselor. And, be prepared to hear what your child has to say. It is possible they may not be ready to solve incontinence problems, yet still want to fit in with their peers.

"Help guide the child's decision by helping them identify whether they are looking for answers or support," Dr. Barkin adds. Many special needs children can be very successful with absorbent undergarments. "Depending on the individual child and the level of ability, absorbent undergarments may offer tremendous independence."

An incontinent child who can change her own absorbent undergarment, is no longer faced with the embarrassment of asking for help with wet clothing in a school or social setting. There are added benefits from this sense of independence; absorbent undergarments can spur a child to reach other developmental milestones. "If the child can move past dependence on a parent or caregiver for assistance with toileting issues, there will be a secondary impact on emotional development and a sense of independence." Dr. Barkin says.

Incontinence issues can have significant emotional ramifications, impacting self-esteem, self-worth and issues related to dependency. In addition, if a child is rejected by peers, social development can take a nosedive.


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